


Why?

by High_Functioning_Goddess_of_Mischief



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Dad!Tom Hiddleston, F/M, selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7456543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/High_Functioning_Goddess_of_Mischief/pseuds/High_Functioning_Goddess_of_Mischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom finds out about his daughter's selfharming</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why?

As soon I come home from school, I ran up to my room and slammed the door shut. I hated this, I hated my life, I hated the whole world. I duck onto my bed and lay there crying. I could hear Tom calling from down stairs, calling my name multiple times. I ignored him, I wasn’t in the mood of talking right now.

After a few minutes of laying on my bed, I could hear Tom his soft gentle footsteps on the stairs, he knocked in my door, carefully opening it, he peeks his head inside, opening the door completely, he walks in.

“You want to talk about it?” He asked, sensing a spark of concern in his voice.

I curl up into a ball with the duvet around me still sobbing, I hid my face in my hands. I didn’t want Tom to see me like this, he had many times but every time I hid myself from him. Ignoring the world everything around me, shutting everything out. He really cared for me, although he was not my real father. I loved him. He gently sat on my side stroking his hand soothingly over my back trying to look me in the eyes 

“It’s alright Olivia, You can tell me” He said, reassuringly with a small smile on his face.

“No T-tom… Th-That doesn’t… help an-anymore” I said sobbing, sucking big chunks of air into my lungs.

“Yes, it does. If you don’t talk about it won’t help you” He insisted.

“NO TOM!” I yelled angry “NO IT DOES NOT, NOT ANYMORE!”

I saw the worry spread across his face, his features tensing, tears welling up in his eyes. I sat up and got of the bed and ran to the bathroom. Locking the bathroom behind me. I put on the shower, I peeled my clothes off and stepped under the warm water. The water seeping through my hair, he has been and still is nice for me. I hated hurting him- people who I loved, still I kept hurting him. I didn’t know why I kept on doing that. I was lost, cold and confused and didn’t know what to do.

I let the cold object scrape across my skin stopping at my wrist and pressed the metal blade down into my skin, I winced in pain, squeezing my eyes tightly shut as I made the cut. Picking up an old habit again. the overwhelming feeling, it felt so good and made me sane again, made me feel complete, made me lose every concerning thought I ever had, forgetting them. 

I opened my eyes slightly after the feeling faded away, sighting the clean straight cut, blood seeping out of the wound.

I then heard a knocking on the door. 

“Please Olivia, open the door” Tom said.

He really cared for me the past few months, he helped me get off my addiction for cutting, which I recently picked up again. He had saved me many times from suicide and patched me up. So I wasn’t if he saw me naked, he did many-many times. I pressed the blade into my skin again, leaving another straight cut, the overwhelming feeling of pain was excruciating but let me feel better and my mind go blank.

Then I heard the knocking again. 

“Please” He begged, desperate now.

I ignored him, sitting there overwhelmed by the feeling of pain that was radiating through my body, slowly creeping up my arm like a predator hunting his prey. He silently unlocked the door from the outside and slowly opened the door. He gasped from shock and disappointment, I could hear his heart shatter into a million pieces knowing he would be angry and disappointed in me, he stared at me with wide eyes, his brows furrowing not believing this at all, eyes filling with more tears. I quickly looked down feeling ashamed of what I had done, of the fact I had started cutting again. I had made my promise not to do it again.

He dropped to his knees beside me and took my bleeding arm into his hands, examining the cuts. He looked back up straight into my eyes, his sad still beautiful eyes, only saying 

“Why?” 

I looked away from him. Not answering his question, not daring to answer his question. I felt guilty and deeply ashamed. I should’ve told him about it.

“I’m sorry” I said, tears streaming down my face.

He looked at me and pulled me into a tight embrace, avoiding the cuts, not trying to hurt me more. He kept silent trying to forgive me for what I had done, breaking the promise I had made and should’ve kept. 

“It’s gonna be alright” he said, his voice smooth and gentle, soothingly stroking my back.

“It’s gonna be all-right” He repeated “I’m here for you, you know that”

Leaning into his touch I closed my eyes, sighing deeply.


End file.
